I want to stay nice and not let the wall come back up. He still is my friend and I pray he finds joy and love someday. He is a nice guy. I know I am worth love and that I will find it. The feeling that someone is out there looking for me hasn’t come back yet. Maybe is hidden under the pain?

I will still help him as much as I am able. I won’t ever get back with him if he ever were to ask me because one chance is all I can give to him because there is a wall with him now, even though we are still friends and I doubt that I could ever fully take it back down.

I don’t want to let the lies back in. To build up the walls, to loose trust in myself, my feelings, my heart. The heart never lies. You can’t help someone see or feel what they are unready to feel. I am worthy.