I have come to see dear reader that the only person I can get out of this alive so to speak is myself. I have to live with my choices and pay their costs. I know that I will have a man at some point on this journey, I just have to find him in a way that doesn’t throw my morals and beliefs out the window in the process.

I also know that my sexual desires will come out at some point, 2 and a half years without sex as of right now, time is ticking I have to watch myself and the men that I let myself be around so that I can manage the fall if/when it happens so it isn’t like what happened when I met my ex hubby all over again.

I have learned the hard way dear reader the more you suppress something they more it spills out when you least want/need it to.

Sorry if this post doesn’t make much sense to you dear reader, it’s mostly random thoughts that I am trying to get out of my mind and process. Goodnight and sweet dreams until tomorrow dear reader :).