Note to reader: I am sorry in advance for this post not making sense.

(The following order is just to separate the thoughts/ideas)

1. I am thankful for the things that haven’t happened to me(that very well could have) as I am for the things that have.

2. I know I should be a better person, however I have no desire to be friends with people from my past. I have come to really see in the past few days that everyone I’ve have shut the door on deserves to stay gone, for their sake and mine.

3. If I was mean to someone when I was a kid I have no desire to befriend them now(I would apologize if I was truly sorry(some people drove me nuts).
I really don’t understand people’s urge to befriend people now that they teased like crazy…Sorry but I don’t trust you.

4. Adriana(my best friend) is driving me nuts. She really only calls when she has a problem. We never just discuss TV or anything(we have no major stuff in common now except we’ve been friends since junior high school and we are both former Marine wives)

I am thankful to be her friend and yes she does visit me and bring me Starbucks(very thankful) however the majority of the times she does visit it’s either spent talking about her newest problem or giving her a tarot reading about said problem or a combination of both.

I used to do this myself until a lady I worked for(typing paperwork for. We met at Pagan store in SD right before my ex left. The week before) spent about a year and half breaking me of the habit.

She says talking over the problem too much gives it power, it’s better to make a plan to deal with it even if it’s a really rough one and focus on your plan and the baby steps to fixing it. Even if it’s telling yourself at least I am a day closer to fixing this then I was yesterday.

It has really worked for me. The biggest thing is being willing to make a choice and sticking to it.

I have told Adriana this but it just never worked for her. Sticking to a choice or making one kills her.

When I tell her I that I am quiet because I have nothing new to tell her she thinks I am being mean but it’s not like we can talk about TV.

5. I am going to the Casino with my dad later today. I will write about it when I get home….Here’s hoping I win: ).