I apologize in advance if this makes no sense I am just trying to get the feelings out.

I feel fear I know change is coming when, where, and how, and for that matter who brings it my way I have no clue. I just know deep down in my soul and my bones that it’s coming.

I had a choice at one point to take the safe route but now I feel a deep pull toward a man I don’t know.

I just know he isn’t the easy road, he is mystery and the fire that doesn’t burn.

I feel I have a choice coming between the safe guy and the one who can bring adventure to my life.

I always fall for the mysterious, the men who don’t judge me for my strangeness because they are strange as well.

I learned once long ago that you can’t take back what you already know. I have already begun saying goodbye to things that don’t work anymore, cutting the ties that would hold me back, and that I am ready for whatever he has to offer.

What I fear is that I know that once I do this, once the change happens, once I get with him I can never go back again. It’s the fear of the closing door.