Dear reader I was reading a book in which the character talks about someone dying from/of alcohol poisoning and it made me think of how my brother Shaun died.

I just know what I know from my other half-brother who hates me (The 3 of us all have the same mom but different dads) told me when he called to tell me he died(He got my number from a mutual friend He had with my sister, They used to live in the same area) I just looked it up again online and alcohol poisoning matches what I know.

The weird thing is that since I was young my Nana(dad’s mom) was obsessively nevous about me choking to death since I was young.

Now that I think of the fact that my brother died from choking after he passed out from drinking, it just makes me wonder if my Nana sensed something and put that fear on me.

I also don’t drink after seeing my aunt drink too much when I was young and a favorite uncle die from liver issues from drinking too much.

The first and last time I drank alcohol was February of last year when I drank a few sips of wine at a wine tasting fund-raiser for a local Pagan event.

The only other time I plan to drink is maybe a few sips of something like a strawberry margarita after my divorce is finally finalized but that is a big maybe.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I deeply believe that if my mom’s family had raised me I would be dead.

I am beyond thankful that I was raised by my dad and that I have his family. Even if my brother and sister(His kids with his ex wife from about 10 plus years before my mom showed up, My sister is 38 I am 27). I am really feeling that saying “There but for the grace of God(s) go I” right now.