Note to reader: I am still trying to process/understand my thoughts/feelings about this stuff so this post might not make much sense.

Dear reader changes heading my way…I think, I have been having a lot of weird dreams lately(check my “Dreams” tab if you want more info) and I am starting to see that sometimes things happen so that others can happen.

You see dear reader I found my Pagan faith 6 years ago at a Pagan Pride Day event when I was living in San Diego with my ex hubby.

Well for the first time in 6 years I will not be attending the Pagan Pride Day in that area because my dad’s still recovering from his hernia surgery.

I am really sad because it’s the only day of year that I can make it(with my dad’s help) to see my friends from that area and to attend ritual.

Well this year I MIGHT be able to make the Pagan Pride day event that’s closer to where I live now(if my dad feels better by then and my uncle Timmy can help us).

I am nevous dear reader because I have never been around this group of people and I have personally experienced the “She isn’t Pagan enough” or “She isn’t the right kind of Pagan” before and it took the people in the SD Pagan community awhile to open up to me.

I really don’t want to get caught up in any drama, however I value my faith and I want and need to be able to experience whenever I am able to I.E. going to rituals etc.

I also really want to make friends with people who share my faith. I am just nervous because I know that some people can take my chair(I have CP =Cerebral Palsy) and the fact that I am friendly as fake(My level of friendliness, not my chair) or my chair is too weird for them.

I have personally had a harder time finding Pagan people that are ok with my chair than non Pagan people for some odd reason.

I have had a man actually tell me that I couldn’t practice or learn magick until I “healed myself” out of my chair, no joke Dear reader he really said that and Yes, I know it’s BS and No I don’t talk to him anymore.

I am also nervous because the website for the event says that there will be press with photos at the event(I don’t want the focus to just be on my chair).

I think this is part of a turning of the page in my life so to speak if it happens from me pre divorce to me now(it’s hard to really explain my feelings on why).

It’s acceptance I think that no matter how much I love San Diego I more than likely will not be able to move back down there, My life for better or worse is here in the LA area now.