Note to reader: I am pretty positive that the following post will not make much sense to you/You’ll probably think I am crazy, However please remember that this is my life and how I feel.

Dear reader I know I met Alex(The guy I met at the casino on Wednesday night)  for a reason.

I have never felt this at ease with another person I am always nevous on some level, hower with him I feel relaxed and like I can be myself.

I am NOT saying I am in love with him yet or that we are together I am however saying that I feel a connection to him.

I know this might not make sense however that first night we talked I knew deep down that I wanted to help him, I don’t mean fix him I truly do mean help help, make him smile, see him have a good time, whether I ever become his girlfriend or not.

Then when we hung out on Thursday and I was holding his hand(He never ever tried anything weird or wrong) as we were playing the slot machine I felt so happy so comfortable.

We have the same thoughts on relationships, No joke dear reader He told me the same talk about not liking short-term relationships that I give other guys before I could even say anything.

He did so many cute things for me on Thursday that it would take a while for me to explain them all.

We talked on Friday then on Saturday when he was supposed to come over to game it with me he told me that his Grandmother is really sick and he doesn’t have money to go back home to Iowa because he just moved out here to California a few months ago.

I told him that I understood why he couldn’t make it, then he told me yesterday day he got held up at work(He was on call this weekend he does computer technology stuff).

I haven’t heard from him yet today and his phone is off. He has been really good about calling/texting me to check in.

I just really hope he is ok dear reader:(.