Note to reader: The following post is just about me venting my feelings and emotions so they don’t bubble up inside of me.

Dear reader I was talking to the guy from a few months ago who asked me for sex, yesterday on the phone when he called me by surprise to apologize.

He was saying all the right things(He will be there for me, I am special, etc),
However he isn’t the person I need to hear these things from.

My boyfriend has been MIA for awhile(lately we only talk after I contact him), I called him yesterday crying because of all of the stress I’ve been under for the past few days(check my last few posts for more info if you’re interested).

Basically begging him for a text every once in awhile to know he is ok. He said before the call in a text message He sent me he was ok and that he was shopping.

On the call about 3 or so hours later he said he didn’t get my calls because his phones messed up but he doesn’t have money for a new one(No he doesn’t do iPhones or the super expensive phones) things like this and other inconsistencies are starting to bugg me.

I can honestly say dear reader they wouldn’t bother me if he would talk to me, 3 separate times last week he said he would call me or he would literally text me telling me to call him and I would literally call him within seconds of getting the message and He wouldn’t answer it(it would just ring, and if he had just texted me then to call him you would think he would be near the phone to see me calling him, the phone lights up when he gets a call)

He also has told me many many times this week that he can’t talk because he was on a call for work(He use his cellphone for work calls) if his phone was working for that then why is it hardly ever working for me?

He has done this to me like 3 times already, it’s starting to really bother me.

He said he would call me at 10:30pm to talk, he didn’t call me, I called him at 12:30AM(He usually doesn’t sleep until around 1:30AM) and his phone was off.

I messaged him at 10:30AM to say I was awake and missed him, I really want to tell him what’s been going on with me and he knows I was crying yesterday and it’s 1:05pm now and I have heard nothing.

I am honestly getting to the point where I don’t want to text or call him until he gets ahold of me. The saddest thing of all is that as of today we have been together as boyfriend and girlfriend for a month and I thought today would be happy, instead I feel like I am chasing him.

I will not settle for less than I deserve, yes, I will keep you updated dear reader: (.

PS. He has said over and over again that he isn’t ignoring me on purpose but it really feels that way.

I told him when we first met to not take my number If he didn’t want to actually use it, he used to call me and check in more. He also keeps telling me he doesn’t have money but on thanksgiving night he sent me a text with a pic of a pair of earnings that he said he had ordered for me.

I am thankful for them(No, I haven’t seen them yet) but it doesn’t make sense to me to tell me you don’t have money when he keeps talking about shopping and stuff. I never asked him for them, I don’t want his money I just want his time.