Happy 31th birthday big brother, it’s been 4 years since you past away and on days like today it feels like yesterday.

I would give almost anything to hear your voice and see that mischievous grin of yours again.

I know now after all these years of not knowing and wondering that you are safe and I truly hope and pray in a way better place then this.

To be completely honest there are days when I wish I could switch places with you. I know you had so much more love and joy to give but I know that you would want me to keep fighting and to be even kinder to people.

So that’s what I will do, knowing that I am keeping a part of you alive with me.

PS. I know that if anyone would be clowning around up there with their Angel wings it would be you. Please watch over mom and me and give my grandparents a big hug for me(note to reader: we share the same mom but different dad).