Note to reader: The following post is ONLY about me thinking “out loud” nothing more nothing less.

Dear reader I feel like you “know” me to an extent better than most people who know me in “real life” because I am a lot more blunt about what I think and how I am feeling.

I don’t really think that most people who know me can handle when I am really blunt about what I think example number one of this world be the Janet situation(look in the “Venting” tab of my blog if you’re curious about what I am talking about).

Since the Janet situation I don’t talk to any friends on a daily basis. I AM NOT SAYING THAT I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS.

I think the reason why is A because I don’t share my life really easily, whatever I tell people about it(even if it might seem like a lot) is only what I want them to know or what I feel like they would’ve found out about on their own anyway. I have known for years the importance of “controlling your message” and people will mostly stop asking you questions if you make them feel like whatever you are telling them about is a secret or that they had to work to get the information out of you.
Maybe it’s the politics junkie in me.

My personal core thoughts are for the most part here on this blog. I have learned the hard way don’t tell anyone what you wouldn’t want someone else to hear latter.

B, I don’t share my core thoughts, my secrets if you will(I do here because it’s anonymous for the most part and even if it’s ever “exposed” as me I can deal with any fall out pretty much) with many people I think that my ex husband and Adriana are the only people who know most of them besides my dad and some other family members. Janet does know some but I don’t think I have told her the darkest ones.

I love to talk to people and give encouragement wheneverI can I just happen to be more blunt lately if its advice.

I know it’s crazy however sometimes I wish that I can meet/talk to a guy who finds this blog somehow and isn’t scared away or maybe even likes what he reads.

Yes I would be willing to get to know the person with emails and pictures once I know that they aren’t crazy. I am nervous because I have had stalkers from dating websites before.

It would be cool to know that someone else could read this blog and still like/understand me.