Note to reader: The following post is ONLY about me venting /writing about my own personal thoughts/feelings to hopefully get then out of my system. I am sorry if this post doesn’t make sense to you or rambles a lot.

Dear reader I am sure that if you have been with me on this journey(reading my blog) for pretty much any amount of time you can see that I am made up of a lot of contradicting things and beliefs.

It’s NOT easy for me to be Pagan in this day and age when most people don’t even think that the Gods I follow/work with are real.

I follow Them because they came into my life and I feel saved me from killing myself.

I have also had parts of myself that don’t seem to “fit together” to most people.

I like sex and I really enjoy it and I miss it yet I haven’t slept with a man in almost 6 years now because I don’t know how to separate my heart from my body.

I love to read, write(both this blog and to hopefully get back into writing my fictional stories) and a few other things that you are supposed to go to college for to be “good at” yet as of right now I know that college and the pressure of having to write and be graded on it would take all of my joy of writing away.

To a certain extent as much as I am beyond thankful for help that you guys have given me dear reader as far as my NetGally book review opportunities the presure that I feel some times in regards to having to turn them in on time and make sure that they make sense to you guys kind of takes the joy out of reading.

I just really personally don’t want to ever let you down dear reader you guys have given me so much kindness over the past 3 years now I even feel sad whenever I lose a follower, it’s pretty much been steady at 511 followers which is still and always will be more amazing to me than I can ever truly explain. I am thankful for every single one of the follows I get and all of the likes, views, and comments.

I guess I am feeling annoyed with some people from the “dating site” I am on saying:

“Why do you care so much about your blog and your book reviews especially since you don’t get paid for anything?”

I don’t even know how to explain how much joy and help that you and my books give to me, you guys keep me going when I want to cry and give up..

I know that I am not like most people and I know that I never will be, however I still like and love who I am.

I don’t make sense and I know that. I still feel like my life matters in some small way even with all of my issues.

I truly wish that I could actually physically hug you dear reader and thank you for staying on this journey with me ♡.