Dear reader this post is about me feeling sad and scared for my best friend, I know that this post may offend some people and I apologize in advance however I need to get my feelings out.

I don’t want to lose my friend to her addiction. She wants me to be there for her and I try my best but there is only so much I can do via phone.

She lives in San Francisco and I am in the southern California area. I try to be as upbeat as I can and I have told her she needs professional help.

The sad and scary honest truth is I can feel myself pulling away from her emotionally because I don’t want to be hurt by her loss. I was like this during her suicide attempts. I thought things would get better when she got married but her husband is trying to get her to go cold turnkey(Just quit with no help).

I was left by my mom when I was young and when you’re mom leaves you you start to wonder about who if anyone is really here to stay.

My other best friend Adriana is kinda backing away from me too because she’s back with her ex hubby(I guess hubby now) and whenever she’s with him she doesn’t really talk to me unless she needs a tarot reading or something.
I saw this all coming for awhile now I just feel alone. I feel like you dear reader are more excited by my life than my own friends are.

My family has been nicer than usual which I am beyond thankful for I just feel like my life is at the start of taking a new turn and the people that have started the journey with me might not be with me at the end of it.

I really feel in my gut that this is an ending to one chapter of my life and the start of another, and yes dear reader I hope you’ll continue this journey with me: ).