Note to reader: The following post will about me just venting and getting my own personal feelings/emotions out. As always I am only ever speaking for/about myself.
Dear reader I am mostly posting this here because I know that my friends/family will not understand and tell me to “get over it” and honestly that rarely ever is actually helpful.
Writing things out here helps me personally feel like I am acknowledging My feelings/thoughts/emotions so that don’t stay bottled up inside.
Now on to the heart of this post I really miss cuddles. I don’t know if it’s because of my disability(I have CP, Cerebral Palsy), mainly the fact that I need to be lifted up a lot(put into/out of my chair, bed, etc) so being in someone’s arms(I personally prefer a male for this type of thing) just feels so safe and comforting.
I keep having dreams in which at some point in the dream a guy(either someone I know in real life or someone I don’t recognize at all, yet in the dreams I know them) will see that I am sad and either sit me up on his lap or just let me kinda lay on his chest, the majority of the time I just fall asleep.
I find it really weird that even in my dreams lately at least I have been sleeping or really tired.
In the dream I had last night the guy in my dream was a childhood friend of my and he just kind of looked at me and picked me up out of my chair and had me on his lap with my head on his chest and he had told me to sleep and He and his brother would watch over the house and stuff while I slept.
I guess I just feel like I need a safe place to rest, some place where people can’t judge or bitch at me.
In the other part of my dream last night my ex hubby showed up to the hotel room at the casino and my dad talked to him since I was sleeping(in the dream I “woke” up after he left and my dad told me what happened) and he told my dad that he really didn’t want to divorce me, he pretty much begged my dad for permission to come back into the family(In real life my dad pretty much hates him for all the pain he has caused me) and my dad told him that the choice was up to me after that I woke up for real.
I swear that I mean this honestly dear reader, If it wasn’t for you “listening” to me whenever I need it, I would be a much more grumpy person. Your comments, likes, and views mean so very much to me so thank you again 🙂 .