Note to Reader: I am writing this post to get my own personal thoughts about it out of my mind. I apologize in advance if it doesn’t make sense to you.

Dear reader last night I had a weird dream in which it felt like I was seeing myself in an alternative reality in which I was about to get into a relationship with a guy who was my first crush. We grew up with each other from kindergarten to high school. We would’ve been the typical “High school sweethearts” if we would’ve dated.

In my dream and in real life we were/are both disabled he has a different disability than I do he does also use a wheelchair though.

In the dream he was telling me that he was/always has been in love with me(he drove me crazy with the mind games about it in high school/junior high in real life) and that we had been together in a past life during the puritanical area which makes sense to me because in real life he comes from a family that is hard core Christian and now last I heard he is trying to become a Christian film maker which I think is a bit odd personally because he wasn’t allowed to watch any movies or TV when we were kids.

In the dream I got with him in large part to make my younger self happy(I was head over heels for him back in the day).

In a part of the dream towards the end it felt like someone told me that I had a history of being with men with ties to power/religion and they don’t tend to like my more free spirited side unless it’s behind closed doors or they have control over me, I know that I need a man who is more chill however I personally love the feeling of knowing that the guy I am with can/is willing to provide for/protect me if things go side ways. I know that I am old school that way.