Trials in love: Clearing the table

Note to Reader: The following post is ONLY about me talking about myself/my own personal feelings about this situation so that it doesn’t stay bottled up inside my head and explode latter.

Dear reader I am doing my best to “Clear the table” so to speak with my exs so that there isn’t any bad blood(to the extent that is possible) so that I can hopefully get a fresh start in love at some point in the future.

I already said what I had to say to my ex husband and I blocked him on everything.

J knows how I feel about him. The ball is in his court now.

I blocked Levi(the last guy I slept with 9 years ago) because honest to everything I don’t need his crazy around me every again.

I also found the ex right after I broke up with J the first time when we were 18 and blocked him because he is a type of crazy I can’t even begin to explain in a way that would make sense.

I found Alex(my last bf, around 5 years ago now), if you’ve been with me for awhile you’ll remember Alex dear reader(his backstory from start to finish is also in this tab if you’re curious).

I send him a message earlier today on FB(Yeah I still can’t sleep) saying I am genuinely glad that he is ok.

He wrote back and said that he is really glad that I reached out to him because I really had a positive impact in his life. And we are cool.

I genuinely hope that clearing all this up will show the Universe that I am genuinely serious about wanting a fresh start in love.

I have no bad blood with anyone now love wise or in general.

Now I feel like I can finally say that I can jump into a relationship/dating with a free heart and mind.

Because everyone knows where I stand with them or the door is permanently closed with the ones who truly aren’t good for me(I still genuinely wish them all love and happiness with other people) so they can’t fuck shit up for me in any new relationship.

Thanks for staying on this journey with me dear reader your support means everything to me. I promise to keep you updated as soon as I know anything.

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