Note to Reader: I am writing this post to get my own personal thoughts/feelings about this situation out of my system. As always I am ONLY speaking for myself and never another disabled person we are all different.

Dear reader when I started this blog I promised myself that I would keep it real about my life experience even if it seems embarrassing(to me) to talk about it(some exceptions to this rule obviously apply) the following situation falls underneath this and I want to keep it real with you and possibly show you a window of my life that makes you think (NOT trying to make anyone feel sorry for me).

Dear reader since I can’t physically take myself to the bathroom(both my knees and feet are messed up from my disability and can’t lock in place anymore to support my weight/help me stand up, I don’t feel up to explaining all the reasons why here) and because of this I have to use a bed pan at times because it’s easier than people having to lift me(especially if I just have to pee)

Last night it broke a bit(I can still use it for now) and I had to order another one from Amazon(It should hopefully be here in a few days, I paid extra for faster shipping since I don’t have prime).

I understand that my situation could be way worse than it is and I am lucky that I can hold it and use one of these.

My point is that having to search for/buy/use things like these are(for me personally) a reminder that I am “sick” and my disability is never really going to be that far from me.

You all do help me to “feel normal” and as if I am a person who has a disability and that my disability doesn’t define me as a person; which is how I personally feel about myself however it’s nice to be reminded of it from your support dear reader as always thanks for your support for me and my journey it means the world to me.